Just a little more thought

The divide between the haves and have-nots becomes more and more stark as each day goes by. If I bother to look around and give a thought to the people I see on my way to office, if I see the people serving me food in a restaurant or in office, a chain of thought sometimes follows. This realization is started of course with age and with books like White tiger and movies like Slumdog millionaire. As lame as it may sound, that it takes a movie or a book to open our mind to a thinking like this, while what we have been seeing all our lives around us goes neglected, it goes to emphasize the importance of movies and books in widening the sensitivities of an individual. But that is not my point here. When I returned from my short trip abroad, the difference was too hard to ignore. That country had nothing like have-nots. Only lesser-haves. While here, so many people struggle for their everyday meals. They live in conditions unimaginable to people who hunt for apartments fanatically looking for ones designed according to ‘Vastu’. I cringe when I think of what kind of house would this waiter serving me food would be living in. How many people would be sharing that one doleful, not even minimal accommodation(if we can call it that).I don’t know. I am sure I am not getting into a near-saintly or philanthropic state of mind. I think, these realizations are only becoming too hard to ignore in times like ours. I think one would be a fool to ignore the uncertainity, the fear present all around us. How life is becoming more and more complex and less and less livable for us (this is so much different from how it used to be in a classic novel of the 18th century where the heroine's only worry in life would be to find the perfect man and the man would worry to death about how to marry the woman he has taken fancy to on a mere whim). Perhaps, our this helplessness in the face of ever prevalent bomb blasts, communal uprisings, global warming, depleting resources, erratic economy, job insecurity is making us aware that there is some danger looming large, something not so good breathing down our neck all the time. And so it is simpler to understand and see how this is a way of life for so many of the people we see and ignore every day. It’s easier for me to accept it’s not their fault that they are leading these pathetic lives. Most of the reasons were not in their hands when they were growing up. And most of it is still not in their hands. When I saw uncertainty and insecurity hovering over my own job, I realized, how I have to just accept it. How I can’t blame me or anyone else for it. How it is to have fear at the back of your mind 24 hours a day. It is easy to get disgusted at someone and tell them to bug-off when you see a beggar at a red-light. But Just one more thought, and you realize he is leading this life, not because of his fault. He could not have helped being born into a beggar family. He could not have chosen to be born into a privileged family. And that is when you suddenly stop being proud of what you have made of yourself.So why is it that autowallas are amongst the most disliked communities? Why is it that the default impression about any of them is that of a non-genuine, lousy cheat? We are always on the defensive when dealing with them? Well, that is because they are the only people from that strata of society who we have to speak to, and negotiate with. The rest of them (waiters/ small-time shopkeepers/ bus conductors) have some protocols to follow. You just buy a ticket from the bus conductor of a particular value. That’s it. We don’t have to talk to them. When you are haggling with an autowalla you come to know how they think about us, all of them. They look at your clothes and decide how much to ask you for. They somehow believe, a few rupees here and there should not matter to this person. They somehow want you to make up for the disparity that exists between you and him. Fair or not, I don’t know.Call it crazy, but sometimes I feel annoyed and also sad and guilty at the same time when some “ignorant” autowallas or some sabziwalla give me a fair deal.